It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
