If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
