don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
