So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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