we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
