Your tits are I can't wait for
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
