ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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