Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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