we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
