My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
