I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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