Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
