i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
