according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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