did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
