Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
