We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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