My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
