i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
