Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
