then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
