I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
3pm strippers are depressing
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
me + whiskey = a bad person
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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