6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
