Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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