I wish you could order shots online.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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