just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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