She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dignity is for republicans.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
