She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
