omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
