he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
