he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
