dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize