Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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