I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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