Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
