she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
