ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Don't tell me you're on acid again
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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