I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
