I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
