I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So apparently I’m into choking now
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