And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
