You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
