Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
