We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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