i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
