Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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