Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
