we have officially lost it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
