Im at strip club and am horny
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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