let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
