I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
