Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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