Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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