I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
