Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
