are you still at the devil's house?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
please come you make the beer taste better
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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