She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
