Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
