Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
should my penis look like a turkey
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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