oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
