forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
