I wish I could punch you in the face.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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